Handcuffed Chastity
by Ivori
Summary: After a drunken night at a bar, Arthur and Alfred find themselves waking up in the same bed and handcuffed together. What becomes of the quarreling couple? USUK one-shot :P.


**Author's Note: Hello! This is my quick one-shot of a USUK moment I randomly thought up. And yes, handcuffs _are _****sexy, aren't they? I would love reviews and critiques XD. Added Note: I edited this to make it easier to read. I'm still not very familiar with this type of format so it took me a bit to figure out, XD.**

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><p>Arthur slumped over to the couch of his apartment, unable to move a muscle in his body.<p>

_Damn… Bloody hard day of work, _he thought, reminiscing his boring days of sitting in the office and typing on the computer.

He sighed and closed his eyes. "It'll be nice to just relax," he said to himself lazily.

"But it would be MORE fun to go out and PARTAY!" Arthur jumped at the sound of Alfred's voice and looked up to see the peppy man standing over him with a grin on his face.

"What the hell! You bloody wanker! I nearly pissed myself! How'd you get in here!" he cried.

"The front door, you're notorious for not locking it, Arthur," laughed Alfred.

"Get out of my house," snapped Arthur, throwing one of the couch's pillows at him.

"Aw, come on Arthur, it'll be fun! We can go out and get drunk and have a good time!"

Arthur shook his head. "Like hell I'll get drunk with you," he snapped.

"Just let me have a night to myself," Alfred gave him a look that reminded Arthur of a lost puppy.

"Fine, but I swear, I'm not getting drunk," he said.

"Hey, Alfred, Alfred! ALFRED!" Arthur began to hit Alfred.

"Arthur, I'm not asleep, you're just really drunk," grumbled Alfred, looking at his drunken friend with slight contempt.

"Drink up, Alfred, drink!" grunted Arthur, shoving a beer into Alfred's face.

"W-wah f-fine!" Alfred took the drink and chugged it down.

"All right, that was great, let's get you home… ahaha…" he took hold of Arthur's shirt. "It was my mistake to bring him out…" he said under his breath.

"NO! NO! I don't want to! I'll hit you!" complained Arthur. "You drink, or you die!" Arthur laughed maniacally.

_I guess I can't go against him considering that he's drunk and will do what he threatens to do, _thought Alfred, picking up yet another beer and chugging it down.

"Arthur, this isn't such a good idea if both of us get drunk," warned Alfred.

"Like I bloody care, just drink or I won't forgive you!" snapped Arthur, hitting Alfred with his cup.

"OW! ARTHUR!" Alfred looked put-out.

"Y-You know you get horrible hangovers if you drink this much, Arthur," he warned.

"Yeah! I get it! So now we can share it!" explained Arthur.

_He's not making any sense… _Alfred pretended not to hear him.

"YUP! We're going to share EVERYTHING!"

Alfred gave an unenthusiastic wave. "Yeah, everything…"

The next morning...

"Ugh…" Arthur shielded his eyes from the sunlight cascading into the room. "Bloody hell… What the hell happened…" he grumbled under his breath.

"I would like to ask you the same question," Alfred said coarsely, one hand supporting his head, lying next to Arthur.

Arthur's eyes widened in shock and he flailed and stared at Alfred like a scared child. "W-w-w-w-w-what are we doing in the same bed?" he asked with fright.

"I have no idea, whatsoever," Alfred looked like he was in a bad mood. "But that isn't our biggest problem," he added, holding up his wrist with a jingling sound. Arthur stared at Alfred's hand; it had a handcuff on it.

"So… what…" his thought trail full of insults towards the American dwindled when he followed the chain and saw that it was connected to a handcuff on HIS hand too. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" he said in a monotone.

"Why're you asking me?" Alfred pouted, looking away from Arthur and attempting to cross his arms but failing.

"You're the one that got drunk in the first place, it's probably your stupid idea," he grumbled.

"W-well YOU'RE the one that wanted to go 'partay' you wanker!" he shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Alfred. "I told you I didn't want to get bloody drunk!" he exclaimed.

"Well then you shouldn't have drunken so much! Then you forced ME to get drunk!" cried Alfred.

"Let's just go get this thing off of us, where's the key?" asked Arthur.

"I don't know, maybe it's in this room. Here, you search that side, I'll search this side," he said, looking absentmindedly around the room for places where a key might be.

"Good idea, we can cover more ground that way," said Arthur, too flustered to think straight.

They both tried to move in opposite direction and were in for quite a shock when they realized that the handcuffs restricted their movement to where they couldn't be more than a foot from each other.

Arthur just about exploded. "YEAH! Great PLAN Alfred! How about you think of another stupid idea you gormless muppet!" he screamed.

"At least I'm THINKING of something, unlike YOU!" snapped Alfred; he looked like he was about to cry. "You don't have to call me a gormless muppet," he said, lowering his head.

"Aw, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it," Arthur crawled over the bed and rubbed Alfred's head. "Of course I did! Besides, you don't even know what a gormless muppet is!" he shouted, slapping Alfred on the head. "Now come on, we can go to a locksmith and get this off!" he took Alfred's hand and led him down the hall.

"Wait! Arthur we're still in our pajamas!" cried Alfred.

Arthur stopped and looked down at his pajamas. Embarrassingly, they were a flag print of the United Kingdom. Arthur couldn't stop his face from inadvertently going pink with a blush.

"Don't you bloody look or I'll hit you, you big git," he grumbled, pulling off his pajama bottoms.

"I promise~" Alfred held his hands up to his eyes, shielding them. He peeked through the holes his fingers made and giggled.

"I told you not to look you bloody prat, honestly you're just a nutter," Arthur sighed to himself, as he angrily got dressed. It was only at this point that Arthur realized that there was a slight problem. "Alfred…" he said, his voice vehement.

"Are ya done?" asked Alfred, rocking up and down on his tiptoes.

"It's impossible to get my shirt off," there was sheepishness in Arthur's tone.

"Whaddya mean?" Alfred took his hands away from his eyes and looked over at his British friend.

"I mean, if I take my shirt off, it'll be caught on the handcuffs…" he mumbled, his cheeks were turning pink.

"Hmm, let's try it and see what we can do," suggested Alfred.

"What, but-" Arthur didn't have a chance to protest while Alfred shimmied Arthur's shirt off and it remained on the chain.

"Oh, well, this IS quite a problem! It's just as you said, you can't take your shirt off," he deduced, putting his hand sophisticatedly on his chin like a detective.

"I BLOODY KNEW THAT! I JUST TOLD YOU!" yelled Arthur. "T-there wasn't a need to take off my shirt!" he said with a blush.

"Yes there was! I wanted to see your cute chest!" laughed Alfred, feeling up and down Arthur's torso just for the extra stigma.

"Stop feeling me up you brute," snapped Arthur, his face now rose-colored.

"Aw! The face you're making is so cute!" cried Alfred, tackling Arthur back onto the bed and hugging him.

"D-dammit! Get off of me!" cried Arthur, trying to squirm free."I told you, get off!" Arthur tried to push Alfred off of him, becoming more and more uncomfortable every second.

Alfred stopped squeezing him and then looked up at Arthur with a pitiful gaze. "I don't want to," he said softly.

"E-eh? What are you talking about?" asked Arthur, bemused.

"I don't want to let go of you," he said simply.

"This isn't funny, Alfred," Arthur looked at him seriously, his face a luminescent red. "Don't joke with me," he now looked abjectly up at Alfred's face.

Alfred gave him a coy smile. "Who says I'm joking?" Arthur's eyes widened in shock as Alfred pulled Arthur up to him and pressed his lips to his astounded friend's mouth.

Arthur couldn't help himself, he felt overcome by Alfred's kiss and so he gave in and wrapped his arms around Alfred's neck, his handcuffed hand entwining itself with Alfred's adjacent hand. He closed his eyes and moved his mouth wetly around with Alfred, his tongue slipping in and out. Alfred opened his eyes and pulled away, swiping his tongue lightly over Arthur's lips before he sat up, his arms on either side of the Brit's body. Alfred said nothing and Arthur just stared at him, perplexed at what exactly he should say. Arthur opened his mouth as if to say something but no words came out. Alfred's sapphire colored eyes bore into his and he couldn't look away.

"W-well…" he mumbled, words finally coming.

Alfred's eyes were lowered in a way that Arthur just couldn't quite resist.

"Well, don't stop there you prat," he finally said.

Alfred's eyes instantly contained the look of surprise and he grinned stupidly.

"Damn handcuffs," Alfred looked at the handcuffs with annoyance as he fiddled to maneuver into a good position. "They're like a fucking chastity belt," he sighed, unable to work it out.

Arthur was half-relieved, half disappointed. "I guess we can just go to the locksmith then," he said, trying to squirm off of the bed.

"Damn and I was looking forward to that," sighed Alfred.

Arthur blushed deeply. "R-really?" he stammered.

Alfred glanced at him. "Yeah, handcuffs are sexy," he said, grinning. "Oh well, we can do it another time then," he gave another flirtatious look that made Arthur blush like a teenage girl and then hopped off of the bed.

"Hey Arthur," Alfred looked like he was scheming something as he looked down at him.

"What?" Arthur seemed like he was in a bad mood now.

"Gimme a quick kiss," grinned Alfred, puckering his lips playfully.

"In your dreams, arsehole," snapped Arthur, hitting Alfred in the forehead. He didn't realize that it was the hand with the handcuff in it. The metal collided painfully with Alfred's head and popped off of Arthur's wrist from the collision. In shock, Arthur stared at his hand.

With realization, Alfred tore the other handcuff off of his wrist with pure strength.

"Your head is really that thick, isn't it," laughed Arthur.

"Yup," a small drizzle of blood formed on Alfred's forehead.

"Hey, you're bleeding," Arthur looked apologetic.

"So I am," Alfred had a wicked look about him. He took Arthur's hand.

"Hey what are you do-" Arthur stopped mid-sentence as Alfred clipped the handcuff around the Brit's hands. "-ing…" Arthur blushed as Alfred swooped him up and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Ah yes, you might be wondering who handcuffed them. I'd like you, the reader, to think of that :). If you have anyone in mind feel free to comment!<strong>


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